i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize