u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
