Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sex in a hospital.. check
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize