I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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