guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize