Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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