My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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