you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the day after is always just damage control
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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