I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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