then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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