I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
