So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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