You work out of a Hotel?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
