Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize