Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
