I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
