That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
