Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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