she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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