I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
