can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize