Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
