you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize