fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
