yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
