You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
