toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
