just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
