New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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