Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
