i barfeds in our rink
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
