just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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