yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
