the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you had me at cake vodka
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
