trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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