it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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