im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
