Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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