Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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