I just pynch a tree in the face
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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