Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He shit in the fireplace
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
