so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
