im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
