Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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