Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
