I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
