Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
