Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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