i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
