I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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