dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
