I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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