I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think your dad took our porno
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
