We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
