this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
