We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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