You can't special order awesome
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
