If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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