They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
