problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
