Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize