So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
