still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
