Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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